I have seriously been beating myself up lately. Before Christmas I pulled my gluteus medius and it continues to be too tight.

Then there was the trip to Wharariki.

(Unfortunately you can’t rotate videos on Flickr.)

That sillyness resulted in a gouged left knee and a wicked scab.

Two days before I was due to move out of my Wellington house I sprained my little toe by wrenching it on a doorway. Walking was painful for a few days after that, making moving my stuff down the stairs rather unpleasant.

One hour before my going away drinks I was on the top step of a speeding bus that stopped suddenly. At the time I was just getting up to get off the bus and wasn’t holding on. I flew. And slammed to the ground, scraping my shin on the step on the way down.

The right side of my body is still stiff and sore a week later. I have two bruised knees, contusions on my right knee and elbow, a bruised elbow, a gruesome yellow rectangular bruise on my shin, sore neck and shoulder and a pulled tricep. Getting dressed, sleeping, walking down stairs and moving my right arm above a certain height are all painful.

Sigh.

Thankfully I had lovely friends (Jaimie, Justin, Nic and Erena in particular) that helped me with getting better and getting out of the country.

So currently I’m frequently cranky with my inability to move as normal at the moment. Forgetting results in yelps when I push my arm too far. I’ll go to a physio next week and try to get back to normal.

I have started noting ‘lasts’.

This will be the last time that I’m in the computer lab. This will be the last time I drive down the scary Devon Street. This will be the last time I eat lamb in New Zealand. This will be the last time I visit Aro Video. This is likely my last good flat white for a long while.

I recognise that it’s completely ridiculous.

Towards the end, time speeds up. I feel like there’s still so much to see and do here. And I’ll definitely be very sad to leave my friends.

No doubt I will be back. If not to live, then certainly for a holiday. New Zealand is tops.

Two tasty things that I’m looking forward to on my return to Vancouver are breakfast at Medina and chicken wings at Phnom Penh. Worth a 13 hour flight for sure.

I have a bunch of things to write about but I don’t have time at the moment. My research proposal is due on Tuesday and I’m a long long way from finished.

When that is done I have to finalise a whole heap of stuff because on the 31st I’m moving back to Vancouver. I’m not sure where “home” is but at the moment Vancouver is the best approximation.

Actually, I suppose I have a number of homes. That makes me very lucky and also very sad. I’m not really a phone person so I don’t talk or Skype with friends and family as much as I “should”. Which means that I’m often disconnected from people that I care deeply about. Facebook has actually been wonderful in helping me keep in touch with those people and also in developing deeper friendships with others. Seriously.

Tomorrow I’m off to the Horowhenua Agriculture and Pastoral Show. This makes me very excited! I’m sure there will be lots to see and do but mostly I want to see wood chopping and working sheep dogs.

Jen in front of 2008 Carded! entry

I’m a medalist!

I was disappointed when my Dalek design wasn’t chosen for Hot One Inch Action 2008. Not because I think I’m some great artist. I just thought it was a cool design. And who doesn’t love Daleks?

A couple of days ago, out of the blue, I received an email telling me I was a 2010 medalist. I thought they’d made a mistake because I haven’t submitted anything recently but medalists are the best 50 submissions from 2004-2009 that weren’t chosen for those years. Cool. I feel really proud of this and a little bit more like a real artist. Sort of. No, not really.

And then today I found out that some feedback I gave last year has been used as a pull quote for this year’s Carded! Sweet.

One thing I love about Vancouver is that there are a whole bunch of doers (t)here. Jim Hoehnle and Chris Bentzen in particular make stuff happen. And that is something to respect.

What a terrible terrible film.

I had heard that it was great and the preview looked intriguing. Ugh. Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong.

But first, what I liked. The geology, flora and fauna of Pandora was spectacular. Beautiful and awe inspiring. The machines and communications technologies were similarly cool. But the rest?

It was truly awful. Cliche after cliche after cliche. Every step of the way I knew what was coming next.

Reading this review at io9 a couple of days ago put some worry into me (note there are spoilers in the review but they aren’t giving anything away that you wouldn’t work out for yourself). However, I still thought that I might be able to transcend dodgy politics and enjoy it as a fantastical blockbuster action film. I’m not a film snob. I love going to see big action films at the cinema. The last film I saw was 2012 (stupid but visually impressive).  I had hope. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

I like Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez and Giovanni Ribisi and I hope they got paid a lot of money to be in this redonkulous, pompous, tedious (163 m) and yes, racist, piece of crap.

Do not see this film. Do not encourage rubbish like this. If this film wins any Oscars I may just have to murder a puppy. It’s that bad.

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Edit

I wrote the above straight after I saw the film. It was after 1am. I was too tired to go into specifics. Despite my claim that I would publish things I wasn’t 100% happy with it felt too important to be sloppy with the details of this one. But I keep reading good reviews of Avatar and it’s making me angry. I just can’t believe so many people are being hoodwinked by the special effects. Sure the special effects are good but that is not enough! Special effects alone don’t make a good movie. I couldn’t immerse myself in the fantastical world of Pandora because I was cringing too much.

Really?

It’s 2154 and we’re in an alien world but funnily enough the aliens look just like humans! Bigger, bluer and able to plug in to nature for the win. The fact that they look like humans I can almost ignore but the rest is too much.

There are two sexes. And not only that, the males are the best warriors and the females are spiritual leaders. They have sex once and they are joined for life. They are prudish about the same body parts as the Western world — the females cover their chests and genitals, the males their genitals. Which of course are in the same places as our rude bits.

The script is woeful. I started to type out examples but there are just too many. See the trailer for evidence.

The characters are worse. It was like watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

• Mr Protagonist has lost the use of his legs and he’ll do anything (anything!) for a chance to get the expensive and exclusive operation to let him walk again.
• The military man loves destruction.
• The rabid capitalist doesn’t care who or what gets in his way to the profits.
• The Na’vi “princess” is tough but emotional.
• The warrior who would be king is machismo embodied.

The Na’vi are noble savages. Primitive, simple but in touch with the natural world in a way humans can’t understand. Most of the Na’vi just happen to have “African” accents. Their hair is braided — the females neatly, the males a bit more rough, somewhat like dreads. Their weapons are bows and arrows. They are proud.

The soundtrack is one of those “time to get emotional”, “time to be inspired”, “time to be angry” pieces of rubbish.

As I said above the story is full of cliches and there’s not a single plot twist. So dull.

Seriously people, this is an awful film. I liked Titanic. I mean, it was ridiculous, but I still liked it for its romance and grandeur and emotion and yes, special effects. Not the best movie I’ve ever seen but still a decent fantasy that was worth my $12. But Avatar is just shite. There are so many things wrong with this movie. See it for yourself if you really need the proof. I’d be interested to hear your opinions.

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EDIT 2

Here are some more interesting discussions on the problems of Avatar.

Intentions be damned, Avatar is racist

Avatar as European Orientalist Fantasy

James Cameron’s Avatar: Watch Some -isms This December!

Future of Portrayals of Disability in Movies? Cameron’s Avatar

On Avatar, The Movie

Tara arrives on Friday.

I can’t wait.

She’ll be here for three weeks and I’ve got a number of adventures planned. We’re popping over to the South Island to Golden Bay for a few days, might make it up to Vinegar Hill queer-camping-extravaganza for an overnight and will be taking the steam train to the Woodville races via the Manawatu Gorge. Weeeeee!

I haven’t see her since early July and that’s just far too long.

Four more sleeps!

I have lots and lots and lots of things I want to write about. Usually I will note the idea down on a piece of paper or an email to myself. Occasionally I’ll collate those ideas into one spot in Evernote. Rarely will I actually write about those things.

One reason for this is that I can be a bit of a perfectionist when I write. I write and edit and edit and write and edit. That can take a long time. And since I’m lazy, I don’t do it.

Another reason is that I’m sometimes afraid to commit to opinions. I have strong opinions but maybe in the future I’ll change my mind. If I write it down here it will be on the Internet forever! Scary stuff.

Catherine’s death knocked some sense into me. The time is now. Doing is better than not doing. Imperfect and out there is better than perfect and in here. Change is inevitable and is no reason to avoid commitment.

So I’m going to write more. That means I will let go a little bit of control and publish things that I may not be 100% happy with. Phew. This is actually a big deal for me. I really wonder if I will be able to do that.

The only way to know is to try.

(Note for you North American readers: a biscuit is a cookie.)

Catherine White Holman died last week and I have been sad ever since.

I still can not get my head around it. How could this be true? It doesn’t make any sense at all.

She always made me feel good about myself. I loved just being near her. She exuded warmth and care.

I wasn’t close to her, though I wanted to be. The night before I left Vancouver I modelled for Shaira. Catherine came upstairs with tea and conversation. She made me blush. It’s not hard to make me blush but this was different. A deeper blush.

As we said our goodbyes her eyes sparkled with the future. I knew I was in that future.

I was peripheral to her life, yet I knew that I was important to her. That doesn’t make me special. That was just the way she was. The way she made you feel.

I adored her. From afar, but truly.

It is desperately unfair that the world has been robbed of Catherine.

The photo is from County Mayo, Ireland. We’d stopped by the side of the narrow road to see a memorial to victims of the famine. I cried. Then I turned and the sun was forcing its way through the low cloud. It slid down the lake and in seconds was gone. I was fortunate enough to experience this brief connection with radiance.

I miss you Catherine.

Xtra West article //  Condolences Book

I’ve just started Trimester 3 and it’s going to be a tough one. Not as hard as T2 (which was gruesome) but hard in a different way. It’s beautiful and sunny outside and I’m in the postgrad lab staring at a screen. That’s hard.

I don’t have any face-to-face classes this trimester and I always enjoyed my class time. That’s hard.

One of my electives is a crunched block course — 12 weeks into 5, with 3 hour online classes Monday 5-8pm. Yeesh. That’s hard.

Hard but doable. I feel motivated (at the moment!) to leap right in and get a lot done before Christmas when Tara comes to visit for 3 weeks. Yay!

So back to work I go…

I’m coming to the end of a 3 week tour of NZ’s South Island with my parents. We’ve had a great time. Every single day we’ve seen something amazing. I could easily retrace the steps of this trip again and still be delighted.

Some highlights have been Curio Bay’s fossilised forest, Nugget Point, Skipper’s Canyon and Aoraki/Mount Cook.

Seals and hawks are everywhere and we’ve seen albatrosses, pukeko, native pigeons, yellow heads, shags, and lots of dead possums. And of course millions of sheep. Actually, I did a calculated estimation and I reckon at the end of the trip we would have seen half a million sheep.

We’re off to Akaroa today for three nights and then I drop the parentals at Christchurch airport and head for the 10.30pm Picton ferry. I don’t have enough internet access to be able to upload all my photos but here’s a cutie.

I have been sick in bed with a cold for the last three days. I’ve watched a lot of Torchwood which is a ridiculous science fiction show but marvellous nonetheless. Their treatment of sexuality alone is a reason for watching.

Other than that I’ve been reading comics and maths books (geek), not eating, napping and trying not to freak out too much about the time that I’m not working on my assignments. My four major assignments due in the next two weeks. And now I feel a different kind of sick just thinking about it.

It goes up and down. And so do I. School has been hard of late. There’s a lot of work and it seems neverending. The next six weeks are going to be very busy. Particularly because the elective I have chosen has a very high workload compared to my other classes, and my parents are coming for a visit in the trimester break so I have to finish most assignments before the deadlines.

But I’m still enjoying living in Wellington, especially now that summer is not so far away. It’s so easy to be close to the ocean, and there are so many great walks so close to home.

This photo is from Lyall Bay. I have never seen a rainbow that didn’t disappear behind something. It was amazing. It’s from a few weeks back but it’s rainbow season now. Sunny, rainy, windy, sunny, windy, rainy, sunny. It’s not so bad really.

What is bad is spending 12 hour stints in the computer lab at school working on assignments. Many of my Saturday nights are spent like this. Eurgh. At least it’s temporary. Just something I have to get through.

And there is a sense of achievement in getting things done. It’s good to know that I am capable of knuckling down to do academic work. It’s always been so painful in the past.

So, deep breath and into the next six weeks I go. Full steam ahead.

I have a Yahoo mail account which has done me well over the years. When you log out of mail you’re taken to the Yahoo ‘home’ page (which I’m convinced is one of the reasons that Yahoo has such high view stats — even though I’m not actually choosing to go there).

Yahoo still thinks I’m in Canada so I get Canadian focused news. Today two of the five highlighted stories just made me sick/angry/depressed/incredulous.

NDP proposal to change party name could prove embarrassing in Quebec

Now abbreviated as the NPD in the province, the party faces the prospect of becoming known as the PD – initials that sound like “pede,” a derogatory term for a homosexual derived from the French word “pederaste.”

1. Sounds like pede. Sounds like.

2. Who cares if it does?

3. It’s not 1959. Do Quebecois really still call homos a derivative of pederast(e)? Really?

The seven deadly beauty sins

Industry makeup experts reveal the most common makeup mistakes. Are you guilty?

1. Deadly beauty sins. I know they’re playing on ’seven deadly sins’ but is ‘deadly’ appropriate when referring to makeup?

2. Am I guilty? No doubt I’m a heretic but I feel no guilt.

3. Let’s pile some misogyny on top of that misogyny.

The worst sin is dark lipliner worn with a lighter shade of lipstick. It just looks ghastly, like a bad tattoo. Or worse, like an exotic dancer.

Eurgh. Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.

And the cynic in me knows that they get more clickthroughs for ‘writing’ rubbish like this because of the outrage of bloggers.

Over the weekend I was at Massey University doing an Arduino workshop. It was intellectually challenging and geekily exciting. Arduino is an open-source something microcontroller something something.

Ok, so I don’t really know what it *is*, but I know what it does. Basically, with a modicum of electronics and programming knowledge you can get input from the environment and output that as art, robotics, or other tech cookery. Does that make sense?

Watch this 45 second vid for an idea of what can be done. There’s all sorts of other cool stuff tagged Arduino on YouTube. Also check out LilyPad which is designed for use with textiles.

The Webcycle: the faster you pedal, the faster your internet goes.

Anyway, that’s not what I was going to tell you about.

I saw a poster for the library that said “Food for fines”. Basically, if you have library fines during this one week you can bring in a non-perishable food item and have $5 worth of fines wiped out. It’s only for overdues, not lost or damaged items.

I think that’s great. I’m not convinced that fines actually modify behaviour in the way that they are intended but they aren’t going away soon. So a $2 can of food will help out a student in a hungry jam and save you some money.

I wish more libraries would do things like this.

I’m in my second week of school for the second trimester. The amount of work is somewhat overwhelming. On top of the three compulsory subjects which I can manage I’m doing Emerging Information Technology as an elective. The workload for that class is essentially double the others. Two 3000 word written assignments, a 20 minute class presentation, a shorter presentation about a journal article, weekly short written analysis papers of the readings and marks for participation in class. Blimey. Still, I’m enjoying it and a challenge is always good.

My marks for last trimester were good. The best I’ve ever had actually. It’s great to be in a program where I’m interested, engaged and enjoying myself. Mostly. Some things drive me a bit nutty…