What a terrible terrible film.

I had heard that it was great and the preview looked intriguing. Ugh. Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong.

But first, what I liked. The geology, flora and fauna of Pandora was spectacular. Beautiful and awe inspiring. The machines and communications technologies were similarly cool. But the rest?

It was truly awful. Cliche after cliche after cliche. Every step of the way I knew what was coming next.

Reading this review at io9 a couple of days ago put some worry into me (note there are spoilers in the review but they aren’t giving anything away that you wouldn’t work out for yourself). However, I still thought that I might be able to transcend dodgy politics and enjoy it as a fantastical blockbuster action film. I’m not a film snob. I love going to see big action films at the cinema. The last film I saw was 2012 (stupid but visually impressive).  I had hope. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

I like Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez and Giovanni Ribisi and I hope they got paid a lot of money to be in this redonkulous, pompous, tedious (163 m) and yes, racist, piece of crap.

Do not see this film. Do not encourage rubbish like this. If this film wins any Oscars I may just have to murder a puppy. It’s that bad.

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Edit

I wrote the above straight after I saw the film. It was after 1am. I was too tired to go into specifics. Despite my claim that I would publish things I wasn’t 100% happy with it felt too important to be sloppy with the details of this one. But I keep reading good reviews of Avatar and it’s making me angry. I just can’t believe so many people are being hoodwinked by the special effects. Sure the special effects are good but that is not enough! Special effects alone don’t make a good movie. I couldn’t immerse myself in the fantastical world of Pandora because I was cringing too much.

Really?

It’s 2154 and we’re in an alien world but funnily enough the aliens look just like humans! Bigger, bluer and able to plug in to nature for the win. The fact that they look like humans I can almost ignore but the rest is too much.

There are two sexes. And not only that, the males are the best warriors and the females are spiritual leaders. They have sex once and they are joined for life. They are prudish about the same body parts as the Western world — the females cover their chests and genitals, the males their genitals. Which of course are in the same places as our rude bits.

The script is woeful. I started to type out examples but there are just too many. See the trailer for evidence.

The characters are worse. It was like watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

• Mr Protagonist has lost the use of his legs and he’ll do anything (anything!) for a chance to get the expensive and exclusive operation to let him walk again.
• The military man loves destruction.
• The rabid capitalist doesn’t care who or what gets in his way to the profits.
• The Na’vi “princess” is tough but emotional.
• The warrior who would be king is machismo embodied.

The Na’vi are noble savages. Primitive, simple but in touch with the natural world in a way humans can’t understand. Most of the Na’vi just happen to have “African” accents. Their hair is braided — the females neatly, the males a bit more rough, somewhat like dreads. Their weapons are bows and arrows. They are proud.

The soundtrack is one of those “time to get emotional”, “time to be inspired”, “time to be angry” pieces of rubbish.

As I said above the story is full of cliches and there’s not a single plot twist. So dull.

Seriously people, this is an awful film. I liked Titanic. I mean, it was ridiculous, but I still liked it for its romance and grandeur and emotion and yes, special effects. Not the best movie I’ve ever seen but still a decent fantasy that was worth my $12. But Avatar is just shite. There are so many things wrong with this movie. See it for yourself if you really need the proof. I’d be interested to hear your opinions.

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EDIT 2

Here are some more interesting discussions on the problems of Avatar.

Intentions be damned, Avatar is racist

Avatar as European Orientalist Fantasy

James Cameron’s Avatar: Watch Some -isms This December!

Future of Portrayals of Disability in Movies? Cameron’s Avatar

On Avatar, The Movie