Catherine White Holman died last week and I have been sad ever since.
I still can not get my head around it. How could this be true? It doesn’t make any sense at all.
She always made me feel good about myself. I loved just being near her. She exuded warmth and care.
I wasn’t close to her, though I wanted to be. The night before I left Vancouver I modelled for Shaira. Catherine came upstairs with tea and conversation. She made me blush. It’s not hard to make me blush but this was different. A deeper blush.
As we said our goodbyes her eyes sparkled with the future. I knew I was in that future.
I was peripheral to her life, yet I knew that I was important to her. That doesn’t make me special. That was just the way she was. The way she made you feel.
I adored her. From afar, but truly.
It is desperately unfair that the world has been robbed of Catherine.
The photo is from County Mayo, Ireland. We’d stopped by the side of the narrow road to see a memorial to victims of the famine. I cried. Then I turned and the sun was forcing its way through the low cloud. It slid down the lake and in seconds was gone. I was fortunate enough to experience this brief connection with radiance.
I miss you Catherine.
I didn’t know her at all and believe I only was introduced once. But when I saw her I always thought to myself that she was a happy person and she sparkled.
Such a huge loss.
Take care!
You’ve said this so beautifully, Jen, and your photo is stunning. I wish you could be there tonight, but know you will be in spirit. Sending you much love.